Dialectical Needs

The Dialectical Needs Model is a framework for understanding all basic human needs through 3 pairs (dialectics) of contrasting needs. The theory states that the healthy way to meet any one need is found in the incorporation of its “opposing” need, as the truth of the dialectic is found in a “both and” integration of both sides.

This model is useful for reflecting on one’s own needs:

  • Which needs have I been focusing the most on?

  • Which needs are most lacking?

  • What score (1-10) would I give each need in my life?

Every person will have a different fitting “balance” of the two sides (eg: some people require more structure in one area of life, like a M-F job, while others prefer novelty), and circumstances will change what the healthy integration looks like (eg: to get out of a toxic relationship, you may have to prioritize your Individuality needs well above your Belonging needs for a time).

This model also applies to communal and societal needs. Every community needs to meet each of these 6 needs in its own way.

This model is continually being developed by myself and will be released as a paper or book at some point in the future. I’d love to consider your feedback or insights on this model! Send me a message if you feel so inclined.

The Text

A language for understanding human needs in 3 contrasting pairs.

Structure

Security: Safety, Comfort, Certainty, Predictability, Food, Water, Shelter.
(Order) You are taken care of.
Novelty: Thrill, Variety, Adventure, Challenge, Play, Fun, Risk.
(Chaos) You live an exciting life.

Healthy Structure is not pure orderliness or predictability to the extreme. It is a healthy integration of Order and Chaos, meeting our desire for Security and Novelty.

Unity

Belonging: Family, Intimacy, Affiliation, Union, Home, Friendship, Love.
(We) You are connected.

Individuality: Identity, Uniqueness, Authenticity, Independence, Solitude, Privacy, Reflection.
(I) You are special.

Healthy Unity is not fusion into the group, but independence with union. It is an integration of Self and Collective, meeting our desire for Belonging and Individuality.

Contribution

Impact: Productivity, Responsibility, Purpose, Virtue, Vocation, Cause, Service.
(Duty) You are good.

Freedom: No obligation, No pressure, Detachment, Being not doing, Rest, Saying no, Margin.
(Choice) You are unrestricted.

Healthy “Contribution” is not pure productivity and impact. It is an integration of the Duty we have to contribute and the Choice we have to do it – meeting our desire to have Impact and Freedom – to be a good person from authentic interior desire.

The 2 Sides

Formed:

• Requires effort, cooperation, and self-sacrifice.
• Is often the more difficult side to fulfill, given that it depends upon others/society.
• Gives a sense of meaning to life, yet it only leads to true happiness and flourishing if it “loves” the other side.
• Gives purpose to the other side: Novelty brings its gifts into Structure, Individual authenticity affords true Belonging, and Freedom self-determines in Commitment.

Primal:

• Pre-exists & is the raw material for the other side.
• Emerges if maintenance is not given to the other side.
• While often easier to obtain, it may take great effort if there is inertia from the other side (internal or societal).
• Able to remedy corruption of the other side (hyper-structure, uniformity, and forced contribution).
• Society/externals can try to strip away this side, but never can really do so (to the extent of the other side).